Kids Having Babies: Let's Be "Realistic"

A few nights ago, my wife and I talked to our oldest son about Alfie Patten, the British 13 year-old who is said to be the country's youngest father.

Our son's also 13, so the shock value of childhood parenting was particularly strong (the pictures of "baby" Alfie with his baby were particularly helpful). Actually, my son and I had the "birds and the bees" chat some time back, but with interest in girls on the rise around here, it never hurts to reiterate the basics.

So, with Bristol Palin's recent remark that abstinence was "not realistic at all," I'm even doubly convinced on the need for early and often parental intervention on these matters.

I'm not the only one. Robert Stacy McCain's taken a little friendly fire for his hasty "judgmentalism" on Ms. Bristol's teenage parenthood, and responds with a little pushback from his own fertile experience:

Look, I have three teenagers myself, a 19-year-old daughter and twin 16-year-old sons. Being judgmental is a full-time occupation, OK? I just put one of my 16-year-old boys onto a plane to visit relatives in Ohio, where he's also got a blonde girlfriend. When I called his cell phone before he boarded the plane, what was the last thing I told him? "Keep it in your britches, son."

Understand that sexy is a hereditary condition, so it's not like the boy won't encounter temptation. But something else is hereditary, too: Extreme fecundity.

My wife is one of seven children in her family, and we've got six kids, so there's really no such thing as "safe sex" with this crew. I've had to have this little talk with my daughter and her boyfriend, much to their embarrassment. It's about 100% certain they're not having sex, because if they were, there's a 99% chance I'd be a grandpa by now.

Well, as the father of two boys, "keep your britches on, son" might get some airtime around these parts in the years ahead.