Have a Glorious Progressive Thanksgiving!

As you gather around your vegan holiday table in your "Ojamas" (pictured below), recall these warm greetings from our good friends (comrades) at the People's Cube from last year, upon the ascension of Dear Leader to his omipotent office of proletarian power in Washington:

I was just sitting here today mulling over the inspiring story of the first group of Community Organizers that made it here on the Mayflower so many years ago. I am in awe of the collective farms that they first enacted would have been able to feed the whole world had it not been for the global ice age that those capitalist bandits from Spain created in their reckless destruction of the earth in the search for gold and their introduction of horse flatulence that had never been exposed in this paradise before. I think of the good fortune they had to be welcomed by the original socialist collective, the peace loving native-American, a group that were hyphenated before it was even cool to be hyphenated. These brave Community Organizers set to work bringing the People together, that is until the second year here when they were perverted by insidious republican conservatives that led to capitalist exploitation and corruption and genocide that continued till we finally fought back and won the State Given Right for guaranteed outcomes, equal distribution of health and wealth, and non-critical thinking among many. So as we sit down tomorrow to our traditional State dinner of boiled, broiled, or fried rats, beet stuffing and imitation polar bear gravy, candied carrots, and fresh 2 day old bread, give thanks to the One. By the way, any one heard what time the state will be bringing us our dinner?

And here's our message from the Great Organizer-in-Chief:

And for your most up-to-date progressive historicism, see "Thanksgiving's Surprising Civil War Roots" (via Memeorandum).